----- Original Message -----
Sent: Sunday, July 21, 2002 10:15 AM
Subject: re:
Shallow Dancer wrote:
"If you think men can do it so much better, then explain to me why they
aren't doing so NOW.
> > >
Explain to me about the deadbeat dads, the physical and sexual abusers, the
pedophiles who are overwhelingly male, the men who walk out on their
families and forget about their responsibilities - which results in the
welfare roles growing, when the women and children have nowhere else to go.
Explain to me how priests, who are male and "supposedly" above question, can
spit in the face of their God and commit unholy and sometimes unspeakable
acts against innocent, trusting children. Explain to me how men had nothing
to do with women like me who were raised to be independant so I wouldn't
*have* to depend on a man - because my very own biological father was one of
the worst examples of the male side of the human race."
John:
We could have fun with this one. Let me break down what Shallow Dunce has
accused men of:
1. Dead beat dads
2. Physical and sexual abusers
3. Pedophiles
4. Men who walk out on their families causing welfare.
5. Priests molesting children
6. The consequences of being raised without her father.
For misinformation purposes, number 2 is created, there has been recent
posts providing the many studies showing women as being at least physically
violent against men as men against women. Why is this an extraordinary
statistic? The reason is because nearly all of the total censorship has
disallowed the Truth to come foreward. Overwhelming studies show that men
are indeed vital for the raising of a child. However, the equal physical
abuse by women to males cannot be ignored. And here are just a few studies
sited.
Scholarly Articles About Husband Abuse
Originally posted by Michael Rivero, (rivero at kwcc.com) with some of his
comments. Additional cites added as they've come to my attention -DRT.
I would like to refer you to the following studies which show women are
every bit as likely to initiate spousal violence as are men.
Author Unknown, "First Large-Scale Study Reveals Elder Abuse is Primarily by
Wives Against Husbands," Marriage and Divorce Today, December 15, 1986.
Author Unknown, "How Can I Admit I Am a Battered Husband: Special Report,"
Best Magazine, April 15, 1993.
Author Unknown Violence in Adolscent Dating Relationships Common, New Survey
Reveals" Sexuality Today Newsletter, December 22, 1986 (reporting on a
report in Social Work contact Karen Brockopp) pp 2-3
Adler, E.S. "The Underside of married life; power,influence and violence,"
Women and Crime in America, Bowker L.H. ed., Macmillan, New York, 1981.
Bates, R.E., "A Plea for the Battered Husband," Family Law 11:92-94, 1981.
Bland, R. and Orn, H., "Family Violence and Psychiatric Disorder," Canadian
Journal of Psychiatry 31(2):129-137, 1986.
Borkowski, M., Murch, M., and Walker, V. Marital Violence: The Community
Response, Tavistock London, 1983.
Breen, R.N., Premarital Violence: A Study of Abuse within Dating
Relationships of College Students, The University of Texas at Arlington,
1985.
Brinkerhoff, M. ane Lupri, E., (Interspousal Violence," Canadian Journal Of
Sociology 13(4), 1988.
Brockopp, Karen, "Violence in Adolescent Dating Relationships Common, New
Survey Reveals," Sexuality Today Newsletter, pp 2-3, December 22, 1986.
Browne, Angela. When Battered Women Kill. Collier Macmillian, London; Free
PRess, New York. 1987.
Brutz, J. and Ingoldsby, B.B., "Conflict Resolution in QuakerFamilies,"
Journal of Marriage and the Family 46:21-26, 1984.
Burstall, Emma, "Are Men Victims?" New Woman, August, 1993.
Curtis, L.A., Criminal violence: National patterns and behavior, Lexington
Books, Lexington MA, 1974.
Daly, M. & Wilson, M. "Parent-Offspring Homicides in Canada, 1974-1983"
Science v. 242, pp. 519-524, 1988
Edwards, Joe, "Men Get Battered, Too," Chat Magazine, April 18, 1992.
Ensminger-Vanfossen, B., "Intersexual violence in Monroe County, New York,"
Victimology 4(2): 299-305, 1979.
Farrell, Warren Why Men Are the Way They Are McGraw-Hill, New York, 1986, p.
231
Garcia, Jane "The Cost of Escaping Domestic Violence" Los Angeles Times May
6, 1991
Gelles, Richard and R. Loseke, Donileen , editors Current Controversies on
Family Violence Sage Publications, 1993; ISBN 0-8039-4673-2 cloth; ISBN
0-8039-4674-0 paper
We have a capsule review.
Gelles, R.J. "The violent home: A study of physical aggression between
husbands and wives" Sage, Beverly Hills, CA, 1974.
Gelles, Richard J., "Domestic Criminal Violence," in Wolfgang, Marvin E.,
Criminal Violence, Beverly Hills: Sage Publications, 1982, pg. 201-235.
Gelles, Richard J. and Straus, Murray A. Intimate Violence: The causes and
consequences of abuse in the American Family, Simon & Schuster Inc, New
York, 1988
Gelles, Richard J, and Donileen R. Loseke, Current Controversies on Family
Violence
Giles, Sims, J., Wife Battering : a Systems Theory Approach, Guilford Press,
New York, 1983.
George,M.J. Riding the Donkey Backwards: Men as the Unacceptable Victims of
Marital Violence. IN PRESS The Journal of Men's Studies Vol 3 No 2 (November
1994)
Greenfield, Margaret, "Beaten Husbands," Women's Post, p. 2, July 8, 1992.
Jones, Anne. Women Who Kill. Fawcett Crest, Ballantine Books, New York.
1981. A description of battered women who kill in self-defense.
Jouriles, E.N. and O'Leary, K.D., (1985) "Interpersonal reliability of
reports of marital violence," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology
53:419-421, 1985.
Kirsta, Alix, "6 Ft., Macho, and Beaten by his Wife," Sunday Times, December
10, 1989.
Kirsta, Alix, "Could You Batter Him," New Woman, January 1991.
Langley, Roger & Levy, Richard C. Wife Beating:The Silent Crisis, Pocket
Books, New York 1977.
McLeod, M., "Women Against Men: An Examination of Domestic Violence Based on
an Analysis of Official Data and National Victimization Data," Justice
Quarterly, 1(2):171-193, 1984.
McNeely, R. L., and Robinson-Simpson, G., "The Truth about Domestic
Violence: A Falsely Framed Issue, Gender Sanity, University Press of
America, 1988.
McNeely, R.L.. and Robinson-Simpson, G(1987)The Truth about Domestic
Violence: A Falsely Framed Issue.Social Work32(6)485-490
Excerpt from the text of the book: "Yet, while repeated studies consistently
show that men are victims of domestic violence as often as are women, `both
the lay public and many professionals regard a finding of no sex difference
in rates of physical aggression among intimates as surprising, if not
unreliable,' the stereotype being that men are aggressive `and women are
exclusively victims.' "
Mercy J.A. and Saltzman L.E., "Fatal violence among spouses in the United
States, 1976-85," American Journal of Public Health 79(5):595-599, 1989.
Mercy JA., Saltzman LE., Intentional Injury Section, Centers for Disease
Control, Atlanta, GA 30333. May 1989. "Fatal violence among spouses in the
United States," 1976-85. American Journal of Public Health. 79(5).595-9 May
1989.
Nagi, Saad, "Child Maltreatment in the United States." Columbia University
Press, New York, p. 47, 1977.
Nisonoff, L. & Bitman, I "Spouse Abuse: Incidence and Relationship to
Selected Demographic Variables" Victimology 4, 1979, pp. 131-140
O'Leary K. Daniel., Barling J., Arias, Ilena, Rosenbaum Alan, Malone J., and
Tyree A., "Prevalence and stability of physical aggression between spouses:
a longitudinal analysis," Journal of Consulting & Clinical Psychology.
57(2):263-268, 1989.
This report notes that 31% of men and 44% of women in a study reported that
they aggressed against their partner in the year before marriage. Eighteen
months after marriage, 27% of the men and 36% of the women reported being
violent towards their partner.
O'Leary, K. Daniel; Arias, Ilena; Rosenbaum, Alan & Barling, Julian
"Premarital Physical Aggression" State University of New York at Stony Brook
& Syracuse University
Pagelow, M.D., "The 'Battered Husband Syndrome': Social problem or much ado
about little?" Marital Violence, Monograph 31, Sociological Review Johnosn,
N. and Routledge, Kegan Paul eds., London, pp. 172-195, 1985.
Pagelow, Mildred Daley. "Family violence". Praeger Scientific, New York,
1984. See "The question of a 'battered husband syndrome'", pp 267-277 for a
critique of Steinmetz' work.
Rooke, Margaret, "Violence in the Home" Radio Times 16-22 p. 8, March 1991.
Saenger, G. "Male and female relation in the American comic strips" in The
funnies: An American idiom M. White & R.H. Abel editors, The Free Press,
Glencoe IL, 1963, p. 219-223
Saunders, D.G., "When battered women use violence: Husband abuse or self
defense," Violence and Victims 1:47-60, 1986.
Scanzoni J., Sex Roles, Women's work and Marital conflict, Lexington Books,
Lexington, MA, 1978.
Sexuality Today Newsletter "New Survey Reveals Violence in Adolescent Dating
Relationships Common" December 22, 1986 (reporting on a report in Social
Work contact Karen Brockopp) pp 2-3.
Shupe, A., "The Violent Woman", Violent Men Violent Couples, Stacey and
Hazzlewood eds., Lexington Books, 1986.
Smith, Angela, "Do Only Women Bleed?" Guardian, Women's section p. 1, July
15, 1992.
Smith, S., Baker, D., Buchan, A. & Bodiwala, G., "Adult Domestic Violence,"
Health Trends 24:97-99, 1992.
Stacey, Sarah, and Cantacuzino, Maria, "And Then She Hit Me," Esquire, p.
84, 1993.
Statistical Abstract of the United States 1987 table 277
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. "The Battered Husband Syndrome" Victimology 2, 1977-
1978, p. 499
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. "Wifebeating, husband beating - a comparison of the
use of physical violence between spouses to resolve marital fights in Roy,
M. (Ed.) Battered Women New York Van Nostrand Rheinhold 1977 pp 63-72
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive and
abusive family interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. and Lucca, Joseph S. "Husband Battering" in Handbook
of Family Violence Van Hasselt, Vincent B. et al. editors, Plenum Press, New
York 1988, p. 233-246
Drs. Steinmetz and Lucca note that "the greatest increase in female criminal
activity parallels the increasing number of women who hold positions of
trust in the business world." This report should not be seen simply as an
indicator of female aggressiveness, but also as an indicator that there is
something about being in "positions of trust" that enables, if you will,
aggressiveness. The article contains a lengthy discussion of the use of
battered husbands in humor.
Steinmetz, Suzanne K., "Women and Violence: Victims and Perpetrators,"
American Journal of Psychotherapy 34(3): 334-350, 1980.
Straus M.A., "Husband abuse and the woman offender are important problems,"
Current Controversies on Family Violence, Gelles R.J & D. Loseke eds., Sage
Women's Educational Press, Atlanta, 1993.
Straus, M., "Wife Beating: How Common and Why?," Victimology 2:443-458,
1977-78.
Straus, M., and Gelles, R., "Societal Change and Change in Family Violence
from 1975 to 1985 as Revealed by Two National Surveys," Journal of Marriage
and the Family 48:465-479, 1986.
Straus, M.A., Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behind closed doors:
Violence in American families . Doubleday, New York, 1980. Followup work to
"Intimate Violence"
Szinovacz, M.E., "Using couple data as a methodological tool : The case of
marital violence," Journal of Marriage and the Family 45(3):633-644, 1983.
Wilkerson, Isabel "Clemency Granted to 25 Women Convicted for Assault or
Murder" New York Times December 21, 1990
Wilt, G.M. & Bannon, J.D. Violence and the police: Homicides, assaults and
disturbances The Police Foundation, Washington DC, 1976
Wolff, Isobell, "Beyond the Rolling Pin: Domestic Violence and the Other
Side," Spectator Magazine, p. 22, November 28, 1992.
Wolfgang Marvin E., Patterns in Criminal Homicide. University of
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia. 1958. Also (*Curtis 1974), (*Mercy & Saltzman
1989).
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There were also some odd, incomplete references which I'll mention:
Author Unknown, "The Times Wednesday Page," The Times, August 27, 1986.
Author Unknown, Women's Journal, p. 125, August 1988.
Author Unknown, Women's Own, p. 34, May 24, 1986.
Now, let me debunk the "male" only sexual abuser myth toward children.
Again, women are found to be more common perpetrators than once thought.
Yes, women are promiscuous and sexual creatures very capable of seducing the
youngest of lads. Let's just say when women are the predators, male victims
are not readily believed (Chivalry Hypothesis) and are far more unlikely to
report the incident. So, it becomes somewhat of more a "perfect" crime, but
nevertheless still a crime.
Claudia Melcher "And now, I am that monster..." - Sexual abuse by women
Summary The sexual abuse of children by women is a phenomenon which up to
now has been documented relatively little. Therefore at present one cannot
rely on empirically safe categories when it comes to referring to the
personality structures of the abusers. A tentative approach towards the
phenomenon is however made possible by different typologies, which up to the
present have been developed in the areas of advisory work and research
projects, although these have only been with small groups. Not only is the
matter regarded from the theoretical point of view, observations are also
directed towards the perspective of the abusers themselves. A total of six
autobiographical, narrative interviews were carried out with women who had
been convicted of sexual abuse on children, who are at present in prison or
are receiving therapeutic help in advisory centres.This contribution tries
to look at the matter of sexual abuse - or rather sexual crime - as being
embedded in the individual life-histories of the female abusers, rather than
seeing it as an isolated matter.
Summary
This was a vivid and horrific programme in which the victims of sexual abuse
by women told disturbing stories of emotional and physical damage:
Rape and attempted murder of a 12 year old boy by a 19 year old girl
Rape and abuse of a 12 year old boy over a two year period by a 28 year old
mother of four
Rape and abuse of boys by their mother
Rape and abuse of girls by their mother
Women taking a lead role in pornographic violence and abuse
Children abused by nuns
Children abused at playgroup
Boy abused by lesbians
It was acknowledged that the scale and nature of these attacks had been
severely underestimated and there were examples of women using excessive
force with implements such as chair legs and cutlery.
A surprising 86% of survivors of sexual abuse were not believed when they
said the abuser was a woman.
Many myths were exposed, such as the one that women only sexually abused
when coerced by men - they in fact played the lead part. Also the myth that
women are incapable of cruelty - what was shown was beyond belief.
But despite the seriousness of these offences, women generally escaped
custodial sentences.
Statistics
The programme claimed that:
Women commit 25% of all child sexual abuse
250,000 children in UK have been sexually abused by women
People find it difficult to believe
The issue strikes at the core of what women perceive themselves to be:
The whole view of women is of nurturers, carers, protectors - people who do
anything to look after children
The crime seems so unnatural it offends against all instincts, so society is
reluctant to even associate women with sexual abuse
It's easier to think that it's men - men the enemy, somehow - but it can't
be women - it's one thing women can't do
Society excuses female abusers (Due to the Chivalry Hypothesis)
What tends to happen is that the female sexual abuser is excused in some
way.
"She must have been misguided", or it was a "chronicled affair". We wouldn't
have said that about a man. And what happens is that the sentences are more
lenient.
The judges might even think "Well a woman really couldn't have done this -
it must have been a mistake".
And they usually get probation or they walk free. A man doing that would be
locked up.
their testimony shatters the myth that women only sexually abuse if coerced
by men.
Women are seen as victims
Women are seen as victims rather than enemies or perpetrators of any abuse.
The feminist movement has actually sold their gender into government
bondage; a collective harem, or gynaecium, if you will. Women are indeed
"wards of the state." No different than children are classified as. Having
"victim" status has the ultimate consequence of loss of freedom. By
exchanging the cover of a Godly man with the ungodly welfare state, is like
running off with Lucifer.
Women in our society have been portrayed as victims, but somewhere within
their victimization they have learned that to abuse children gave them a
sense of power, control, agency, and therefore they use the abuse of
children to gain those things.
Disbelief the biggest trauma
The biggest trauma for some victims is disbelief. A survey of 127 survivors
by the children's charity Kidscape showed 86% were not believed at first
when they named a woman as their abuser.
The fact that we are not expecting women in our society to do this - not
expecting that women our society do this actually has profound effects on
the victims, often making the experience go on much longer than it would
have done in other cases, but also making them feel more stigmatised, more
different, more betrayed, more powerless.
More traumatic to be sexually abused by a woman
It was more traumatic to be sexually abused by a woman - children feel more
betrayed, they feel very angry, they feel the woman should have cared for
them, should have loved them instead of abusing them.
Violent and sadistic attacks
The violence that often accompanies the abuse is unexpected of a woman.
Victims often report excessive force equivalent to if not greater than that
of a man.
Women are supposed to be the gentler sex, women are supposed to be incapable
of cruelty in a sense
Many of the abusers have been very sadistic - cruelty that is almost
unimaginable.
Half the women in a recent survey of 50 convicted female sexual abusers said
they derived sadistic pleasure from inflicting pain on victims.
Across the board
The research showed neither class nor age were barriers to their behaviour.
We can't make assumptions about the type of woman who will sexually abuse a
child - sexual abuse is committed by:
Women of any age from young teenagers to grandmothers
Women from any class - from women who barely had a house to live in during
their life to women with very large houses.
Women from any level of education - women who can barely read and write to
women who've got degrees.
Female abusers acquire positions of trust
Some children aren't just at risk from the people they live with; they are
vulnerable targets when they leave their homes.
Out in the community female sexual abusers can manoeuvre with even more ease
than men into positions of trust with authority over lost of children.
Eternal victims
Some of those abused become eternal victims and never recover from that.
Other children will mask their confusions and go into adulthood and never
really be able to sustain relationships, or have very distorted
relationships because of their enormous confusions.
And there are other children who will go on to hurt not only other children
in their own childhood but in adulthood.
And, now for a little female history lesson.
'Child Abuse'
'According to William Langer, "in the eighteenth century it was not an
uncommon spectacle to see the corpses of infants lying in the streets or on
the dunghills of London and other large cities." Abandonment at the door of
a church would have been preferred, but the chance of discovery was too
great. Eventually parliament decided to intervene and set up foundling
hospitals with various systems for collecting unwanted infants without risk
to the donor. On the Continent, infants were passed through revolving doors
set in the walls of foundling hospitals.
'But government was not capable of sustaining the cost of rearing children
to adulthood, and foundling hospitals quickly became de facto slaughterhouse
s whose prime function was to authenticate the state's claim to a monopoly
over the right to kill. Between 1756 and 1760 there were 15,000 admissions
to London's first foundling hospital; of those admitted, only 4,400 survived
to adolescence. Additional thousands of foundlings continued to be destroyed
by wet nurses employed by parish workhouses. In order to economize, parish
officers assigned the infants to women who were nicknamed "killing nurses"
or "she butchers" because "no child escaped their care alive." On the
Continent admissions to foundling hospitals increased steadily even during
the early years of the nineteenth century. In France admissions rose from
40,000 a year in 1784 to 138,000 in 1822. By 1830 there were 270 revolving
boxes in use throughout France, with 336,297 infants legally abandoned
during the decade 1824-33. "Mothers who left their babies in the box knew
that they were consigning them to death almost as surely as if they dropped
them in the river." Between 80 and 90 per cent of the children in these
institutions died during their first year of life.' Marvin Harris, Cannibals
and Kings: The Origin of Cultures, pp. 199-200, as quoted in All About
Women.
Women its time to take your place in the backseat, a Godly man will drive
you farther than any government bureaucrat will. Just sit back and enjoy the
ride. The Kingdom of Heaven is up the road and he knows the way.
