ken collins <kenpc at banet.net> wrote:
> i'm considering giving up my internet account... it's been a
> waste... all the "tests", and the accusation that flows uniformly
> through them are a sorrow... people are suffering greatly because
> the understanding has been withheld from them... currently,
> there's massive slaughter, soon to escalate, in "Yugoslavia"...
> for no other reason than that the understanding has been
> withheld...
> this, even though i, long ago, gave my Word that, after the
> understanding is communicated, i'd just "go away"... it's all
> such a Waste... and i'm left wondering if my genetic stuff
> materialized at the wrong coordinates of the Universe.
> i won't abandon you, but perhaps it's "time" for folks to
> go-it-alone for a while.
Look, why do you not relax - you do not have to suffer from the feeling
that you are Messiah and have to save the world or get crucified.
There are lots of people around who believe that once people understand,
we will all be brothers and sisters and never make war again. I even
know a couple of other guys who believe They are Messiah.
As far as descriptions in the literature go, it seems that most
everybody who takes a hallucinogen trip gets that feeling of being
Messiah, having the supreme Knowledge that has to be communicated to the
world in order to save Mankind (and/or Nature). This Insight is said to
occur after various drugs: marijuana, LSD, mescalin, etc., etc.) so it
probably has nothing to do with the kind of drug, but with the Workings
of the Average Human Brain when in a State of Divergent thinking.
At least I lived through this experience repeatedly in my youth when I
several times put myself into nitrous oxide (N2O) intoxication in the lab
to test its effects on thinking and motor coordination.
Another colleague with more extensive experience of hallucinogens said
that he has experienced the same with other drugs as well, and that the
thought were always the same, but that the ucidity perceived by the
intoxicated individual were not possible to convey to another persons,
because there were no actual (verbal) thoughts.
So I had my notebook in order to write down the Truth when it came
again, and inhaled, and tried to write the Thought given to me to be
Messiah because His work had been discontinued and somebody had to pick
it up. I knew from other experiments that during N2O intoxication, my
motor coordination and finger dexterity were unimpaired.
But no thoughs of any logic emerged on paper. I thought my colleague
was right after all, and the lucidity actually contained no coherent
thought, just a passing limbic orgasm.
Or maybe the Thought was so fast, that the hand could not put it on
paper? Or maybe He did not want unworthy _me_ to be the new Messiah?
Sometimes I wonder how you, Ken, can generate all this concern _without_
the aid of N2O or drugs. But it does not make me a greater believer.
(I did put AoK on a diskette, now I put it into a computer and read a
while whenever I should want to).
Dag Stenberg