>>Hi all,
>>My name is Paul and im recovering for a cerebrial abcess since
>October,,If anyone has any advice for me please help
Hi!
I am not sure what a cerebrial abcess is nor about the location and
damages. (And without details it might be hard for others here to give
you good advice. As they cannot goggle through your computer into your
brain. And if folks could some might find that
slightly disquieting... ;-)
But I got braindamages when I got a concussion two years ago, and lost
my job, dropped stuff, Frank made sneer comments of my spelling in
this room about a year later, and that was already after I had taught
myself writing back to where just little got scrambled in comparison
to the start that had syllables, words and letters missing or warped
or in different locations or often other words than I had wanted to
write. I forgot real important stuff, had the feeling to have lost
many recordings of the past, too, and still forget a lot, though at
least most important stuff seems to be recorded better now again. I
did not dare to drive a car for many months, as I kept sort of
off-lining and just driving on what I call the sequencer, and when I
on-lined again the optical "baud-rate" had about the speed of "there
is one car. There is another car. Over there is a crosslight. ... And
so on, about the speed rate that it takes to read this loud, while
being at about 50-60 km/h. That got too dangerous for my taste. Took
me nearly a year before I dared to drive in day time again in "working
traffic". For over a year I could not hear music that I had liked
before as I got bad headaches from it, in part of my cingulate which
once on trips was like a dome of lights of more cells then I could
count where I could do beautiful games with tones and optic-like stuff
was like having turned from a "sparkling" coloured dome-universe to a
barren desert, headaches following instead of tone-golour patterns and
endorphine showers by it as I was used to on trips, I lost focus and
steering powers within the brain that I had valued, in the first
months I sometimes came weveral times shortly after each other out of
a sort of darkness, and it felt like a computer booting up, till I
figured out where I was and what I had been doing before, and then not
one or two minutes later I was gone again, and that could repeat 5-6
times, till I found out that shouting and aggression kicked the
systems up to the energies where that'd stop... For all I know I had
damages to six areas, maybe even more.
I believe that I will never be the same person again.
But grumping about it is not going to bring the old capacities back
either.
Some folks with braindamages had their headaches main time not just a
bit more than a year like me, but got them quite bad ways longer.
And in weaker form I still sometimes get them, too, though that is now
over two years ago.
I still do not feel "healed" again, though I guess what is still left
I am going to have for a while and maybe forever.
Though that might be wrong to me it felt that after that mentioned
first year when the headaches stopped the glia had repaired enough and
at times like loads of "baby" cells being with the older structures,
and that I had to watch to not overtax them, till they had netted in
O.K. and got used to produce or do whatever it is that they are
supposed to do there (seemed to take them several months).
If it are brain damages give stuff time to heal.
In the start I also worried, if I'd keep running for the rest of my
life into stuff nearly my size, could not be trusted with cups people
value, would spill stuff, have moods like orcanoes and headaches that
seemed to go to preranges of epileptic fits if there were artificial
peeping noises within the rhythm where it seems to overlap with
internal signal distance the wrong way so that they "overcharge and
spasm"...
Now a lot got better.
But I stopped playing chess as it frustrated me to lose games where I
knew that before I would have won games of that level; like seeing a
difference that frustrated me too much and that I did not want to see.
I feel I have lost part of myself forever.
But will moaning and groaning change that?
Could have come considerably worse.
Are you blind?
Forever in a wheel chair,
and maybe have people goggling at you like you were some Martian
mutation?
Do you look like Quasimodo after a traffic accident?
Are you old and need to cling to a stick, be scared of stairs?
Or for the rest of you life in bed and need to wear diapers and wait
for your death while your brothers and sisters and partner and most
friends already died of old age?
Imagine each of those for about one to several hours then you might
feel better afterwards.
Good psychotherapy for many problems.
Listen to the health requests of your systems.
And the same as it would be foolish to expect a broken bone
to be totally healed and ready for rugby the next week,
give things time.
And old proverb is:
LIFE
IS LIKE A CUP OF TEA.
IT IS
HOW YOU
MAKE IT.
Ci