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Little Johnny came home early from school and started calling his mother
with no answer. He finally went up stairs and saw the bedroom door was open
a little. When he peered in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid so he
quietly went outside and waited for his mother. When she showed up with some
groceries, he said "Mommy, Mommy guess what I saw? I saw daddy upstairs on
the bed with the maid and they were......." and his Mother said, "Stop right
there, Johnny". Wait until supper tonight when the maid is serving the meal.
When I wink at you, then tell me the story." At supper when all were seated
and being served by the maid, she winked and Johnny began again. "Mommy,
When I got home from school early today, I was looking for you and saw daddy
on the bed with the maid. They were doing the same thing that I saw you and
Uncle Phil doing at the cottage last summer."
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking
around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the
ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out
of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice." The drunk looks around,
but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I
said before, there are no fish under the ice." The drunk looks all around,
high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one
more time to finish. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice
interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!" The
drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do
you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?" "No", the voice
replied. "I am the manager of this hockey area!