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Carol carol at alaska.net
Mon Dec 26 23:27:40 EST 1994

Introducing the new Helix Master 2000, now with polymerase cleaning
action!  The Helix Master 2000 is an exciting midrange genetic engine
in our series new for 1995.  We have an entire range of models from
the the Transcriptionizer 250, suitable for the home and perfect for
apartment renters, up through the more robust Homologous
Recombinanizer 820, our first model to offer the Antisense RNA
attachments! (This model requires three phase 220v for operation, and
is not recommended for graduate student use).

There are many genetic engines on the market.  Why should you choose
one from Acme?  Simple.  We know restriction enzymes!  Many systems
promise PCR amplification but don't always deliver.  Either the
thermal control is unstable or primers can anneal during early cycles
yielding unsightly goo.  Our systems don't suffer from this.  Our
engineers have combined the latest in Thermus Aquaticus Taq research
with new bleaching agents so that your strands will be absolutely
stable and whiter than white!

What about the isolation of cloned genes?  Most competing sytems
still use the pMB9 and pBR322 cloning vectors developed by Thomas
Edison in his groundbreaking research of the late 1890's.  We have
our own teams which developed plasmid vectors more advanced than any
others on the market.  Our new Polylinker 660, now with fizzing
bubbles, is detectable by twice the markers of our competitors latest

What about speed?  Our sequencers are rated at over 1,500 base pairs
per minute, and with the optional amino acid codon kit, you will be
doing over 2,400 base pairs per minute!  Each model comes fully
equiped, ready to run with safety goggles as well as a short film
about the dangers of drinking and deriving.  Safety first!  Please
keep Eukaryotic genes out of the hands of children!

Where are we heading?  With new government regulations for steroid
receptors slated for mid 1997 the entire membrane signal industry
will be thrown into disarray.  Our scientists are busy, even today,
working with new signals and transcription factors such as
Phosphorylation with a kinase rating over 6 points higher than
California requirements to be in effect by June of 1997.  Using our
machines you'll be cloning armies of obediant slaves while the rest
of the industry is tied up chasing expression plasmids around and
getting no where.

When you think genetic engines, think Acme genetic engines!  "With
Acme, your gene pool is generally safe."

Andrew Carol     "Could be worse.  Could be raining."
carol at alaska.net    carol at ctis.af.mil    71350.3646 at compuserve.com

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