It is interesting seeing how many people react to frustration in the same
way as I have done in the past and, to some extent, now, by crying. When I
was a post-doc my supervisor delighted in pushing me to the point where I
would cry and then laugh and point his finger at me to show everyone I was
crying. He could also get me to blush and he delighted in doing that also
and then pointing it out to everyone. I think it was a game to him. Only
when he could no longer get me to cry did he stop picking on me and he
wasn't as happy as when he could "push my buttons" for the desired response.
This also gave me an insight into why people stay in abusive situations.
This same supervisor could be very nice and sweet and you would forgot how
abusive he was, psychologically, until he would humiliate you again. Then
the cycle would start again. The good times were so good that you would
forget the bad. If there's anything positive that came out of this, it was
how not to treat your employees but, I could have learned the same thing
with a positive role model such as my Ph.D mentor.
I still cry to vent but, it's generally alone unless I really need some
positive reinforcement from a sympathetic friend. I say do whatever is
necessary for you to get past a frustration and get on with what you want to
P.S. When I was younger, I use to vent by slamming doors. We had to get the
livingroom ceiling sprayed with acoustical stuff to fill the crack I kept
opening up with my door slamming. (I really think the earthquakes had
something to do with the crack, however).
Dr. Cynthia M. Galloway
Assoc. Professor of Biology
Dept. of Biology
Campus Box 158
Texas A&M University
Kingsville, TX 78363