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A peeve

Sabine Dippel sabine at hlrz28.zam.kfa-juelich.de
Wed Jul 31 01:20:13 EST 1996


In article <DvDpAy.85o at murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>, kas4e at galen.med.Virginia.EDU 
(Kathleen Ann Sindt) writes:
|> Susan Jane Hogarth  writes:
|> 
|> > Yup, I've known both men and women who are like this (including even myself
|> > sometimes - it does seem as if you can get *sucked in* to being this way).
|> > And _maybe_ even men are more susceptible to it than women... What's the
|> > prob? I know lots of people who whistle while they work, but I'm not looking
|> > for a way to put an end to it (although it drives me _crazy_). 
|> 
|> I happen to agree - if they want to play competitive games, let
|> them.  What matters in the long run is who succeeds.  I just
|> don't deal with that type of person unless it will get me ahead
|> of the game.....  
|> 

...stuff deleted

|> -- 
|> Kathie Sindt
|> kas4e at virginia.edu

Isn't that a bit to naive? In the long run, those who play the standard
games best will succeed, not those who just quietly do their work. 
Okay, sometimes it suffices to show off for a while to convince those
who seem to need that kind of behaviour to take you seriously, and when
you afterwards behave "normally" again they keep that opinion of you 
(though they need a reminder once in a while) - at least that's what 
has happened to me. 

As to Susan's example - well, the guy who's whistling at the bench next
to you does at least not suck you into whistling yourself. But not trying
to impress people at a meeting where everyone else does so might have 
consequences - so you end up playing a game you might not want to play.

Actually, in private gatherings I have sometimes noticed something 
completely different (I'm not talking about scientists now, but rather
a random mixture of people). I have seen men to react completely shocked
when they were showing off, and you (as a women) were not impressed, but
just for fun played the same game on them - that's not what a woman 
behaves like. So maybe that means that at such meetings we have to 
conceal that we are women by playing "men's games" - is that what you 
want? 

Just to get this straight: I don't say that this a basically male problem -
I know many men who don't like this either, and have problems because of it.
And have you ever listened to a bunch of mothers who are trying to convince
each other how their child is the brightest and cutest of all the children
in the world (again, there are also enough mothers who don't talk that way)?

My two cents,

Sabine

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