THE NIGHT BEFORE DEFENCE (or A Visit From Citrate) (Repost from 1997)

David J. Meyer meyerdj at phibred.com
Thu Jan 3 14:52:05 EST 2002

This is funny, but hopefully not believed to be true by a biochemistry
student: Pauling was fascinated with ascorbate (vitamin C) not citrate. They
are not at all the same!
David J. Meyer, Ph.D.
Pioneer Hi-Bred International, Inc.
A DuPont Company
7300 NW 62nd Ave
PO Box 1004
Johnston, IA   50131-1004

Although this is my professional address, I do not speak for my company.

"Latin Wolf" <wolf at latinwolf.org> wrote in message
news:uu9h2u0qnoo9god35gul7vra0nc5pceukn at 4ax.com...
> As Posted by Randall C Willis
> Subject: THE NIGHT BEFORE DEFENCE (or A Visit From Citrate)
> From: willis at gandalf.psf.sickkids.on.ca
> Date: 1997/12/15
> Newsgroups: bionet.molbio.methds-reagnts, bionet.molbio.proteins,
> bionet.general, sci.bio.technology, bionet.cellbiol,
> bionet.microbiology
> (or A Visit From Citrate)
> Twas the night before defence, when all through the lab
> Not a gel box was shaking, with stain or with MAb;
> The columns were hung in the cold room with care,
> In hopes that my protein, I soon could prepare;
> The post-docs were nestled all smug in their beds,
> While extracts of barley muddled their heads;
> With the tech in the suburbs and PI the same,
> I had just settled down to another video game.
> When out of the fridge there arose such a clatter
> I sprang from the terminal to see what was the matter.
> Away to the cold box, I flew like a flash
> But the stench was o'erpowering and I threw up beef hash.
> The mould on the dampest of walls which were cold
> Had the softness of kittens only seven weeks old;
> When what to my view, a thing I despise
> But a half eaten sandwich and four tiny mice;
> With a little old scientist, so lively and galling,
> I knew at a glance was Linus Pauling.
> More vapid than undergrads, his charges they came,
> And he whistled, and shouted, and called them rude names.
> "Now, Watson! Now Francis! You strange little modellers!
> On Luria! On Bertani! You stupid old broth'lers!
> To the top of the bench, to the top of the wall!
> Purify! Purify! Purify all!"
> As dry heaves before the commitee meeting, bend
> A young student's body and his colon distend,
> So up their earlobes, acytes they grew,
> With a sack full of antibodies, their skin turning blue.
> And then, for a second, I heard from the 'fuge,
> An unbalanced rotor spinning something too huge.
> Where I put down my hand, to better hear the sound,
> Came the snapping of sparks from a wire sans ground.
> Pauling's hair was all wavy, and I thought I must be sick
> `Cause the curl in his hair looked just like a helix.
> On an arm load of oranges, he started to snack
> An I recalled his fetish with citrate, the quack.
> His eyes were all wrinkled, but the cheeks were yet red;
> Not too shabby for a man who was several years dead;
> The leer of his smile was just a tad scary
> And the snow on his rooftop made his head yet quite hairy;
> The end of a pipette, he held in his teeth
> And a pile of kimwipes lay around his big feet.
> He held a small vial of something quite gel-ly,
> A mercaptan no doubt, for it make him quite smelly.
> He changed `round the columns, adding to the confusion
> And I laughed to spite my own paranoid delusion.
> A wink of his eye and a rotation of his head,
> Told me whatever I drank would soon leave me dead.
> He spoke not a word, just buggered up my work,
> And dried all my resins, that silly old jerk.
> And separating his middle finger from first, fourth and third,
> That crazy, old bugger, just flipped me the bird.
> He grabbed up his cohorts and ran down the hall,
> And away they all flew, letting me take the fall.
> That is why, dear Commitee, I am sorry to say,
> I need a five year extension, starting today.
> An Xmas present to all from your friends at Aliquotes...happy
> holidays.
> Randall C Willis, Publisher
> Aliquotes Press
> Aliquotes: A Journal Of Molecular and Biochemical
> Humour and Information
> 58 Balfour Ave.
> Toronto, ON
> 416-691-2921 (ph) 416-813-5022 (fax)
> roger at xybercom.net
> Wrestling Newz

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