IUBio

Need advice on anti-ageing diet.

Dawn DawnC at bigfoot.com
Thu Apr 24 17:45:14 EST 1997


:-Peter wrote:

 
:Alex Hunter (none at ic.ac.uk) wrote:
: Hi, I was wondering if anyone could explain to me how I can switch to
: a restricted calorie diet of the type which has been found to reduce
: ageing and increase longevity in animal experiments for many years?

> >Its called the CRAN (Calorie Restricted Adequate(?) Nutrients)
> >diet.   "The 120-year diet" by Roy Walford (isbn 0-671-46677-1) has sample
> >CRAN recipes.    According to the old sci.l-e FAQ, slowly reducing your
> >calorie intake over 4-6 years is the best way to do CRAN;  so your low
> >calorie diet experimentation may pay off by speeding up (for you) the time
> >it takes for you to get there.     If CRAN is done too rapidly, it reduces
> >lifespan in animals.
> 
> Let's not forget the updated version  called CRANK.  It's fairly complex,
> but I'll summarize and simplify it for the lay public:
> 
> 1. Take one Fiesta, Sprint, Mini, or other teeny-tiny auto, modify it to
> attain light speed.

Ah, but it still has mass, and therefore, shall never attain light
speed... 
unless you do a "little trick".... 

> 2.CRANK IT UP.

Unleaded?
 
> 3. Fly it to the nearest  Black Hole, remain on the outer edge only,
> since  entry will cause drastic reduction in body fat volume, which may be
> unhealthy.

Shouldn't that be Hole of Color? <eg> 
(something tells me that someone somewhere is going to flame me for this
remark)
 
> 4. Eat as much as you want of whatever you want, for as long as you want.

Ah, but who delivers in space?
 
> 5. Return to Earth (leave the car hidden, it will be embarrassingly outdated).

But will Earth still exist? And, if it does, where will it be by then?

> You will appear to be younger than your chronological age, and will have
> lost a seemingly infinite amount of weight compared to your in-flight
> mass, regardless of your diet!

So I should bring smaller jeans with me in preparation...?
 
> I guarantee that if you follow this diet, the results will astound you!

And what do you back this guarantee up with? 

> :-Peter

-- 
-Dawn-
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
     The Chako Rescue Association
     for the American Pit Bull Terrier
     http://members.tripod.com/~DawnC




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